Whelan: 'The most beautiful woman in the world!'

Dr. Julian DeSilva informed The Daily Mail he came to this controversial conclusion by using face-mapping techniques based on the Greek “Golden Ratio of Beauty Phi.”

Supermodel Bella Hadid attends the opening gala for the film, Ismael's Ghosts (Les Fantomes d'Ismael), during the 70th annual Cannes Film Festival at Palais des Festivals in May 2017 in Cannes, France. Matthias Nareyek / Getty Images

Share Adjust Comment Print

As a society, we’re totally obsessed with superlatives. Seeking out the best of everything seems to be on everyone’s mind. I think almost every pizza parlour in the world has a sign out front proclaiming, “Voted Best Pizza in Town!”

I’m always suspicious of this boast. First of all, who the heck votes in this contest? The pizzeria owner’s blood relatives perhaps? Have you ever been tempted to bring a barely eaten pizza into one of these best-pizza places, plop it down in front of the owner and scream “I demand a recount!”

But this “best” fixation doesn’t stop at Italian eateries. Dog shows are always proclaiming “Best in Show,” weekend sports shows are forever showing (and reshowing!) “Best Plays of the Week!” and movie websites are lousy with “Best Films of Such-and-Such Year!”

Last week, a very daring London plastic surgeon opened a gigantic can of worms when he proclaimed model Bella Hadid “the most beautiful woman in the world.”

Dr. Julian DeSilva informed The Daily Mail he came to this controversial conclusion by using face-mapping techniques based on the Greek “Golden Ratio of Beauty Phi.” These ratios embody certain mathematical calculations often used by architects and famous depicters of beauty in art, like Michelangelo and Leonardo da Vinci.

Facial details such as the length and width of the face, nose, position of the eyes and eyebrow area, etc. are taken into account. Apparently, in this analysis, it’s all about proportion and symmetry. The closer these measurements to the “ideal,” the more beautiful the individual.

A few nights ago, stirred on by Dr. DeSilva’s technique, I approached my sleeping spouse with a tape measure, intent on determining her Golden Ratio score. But then, remembering what a wicked left hook she possesses, I thought better of the experiment and went back to bed.

I’ve always been suspicious of things of beauty being measured by mathematical calculations. During figure skating season, I fail to see how those judges can observe an amazing display of artistry and athletic prowess and then go ahead and assign a number to it.

Same thing goes to Olympic diving competitions or when Dick Clark on American Bandstand used to assign a number to a new rock ‘n’ roll record (“I’ll give it an 80 ‘cause it’s great to dance to …”) or when those hyperactive judges on Dancing with the Stars assign a number from one to 10 after some poor washed-up celebrity shows his or her inadequacies on the dance floor!

So anyway, back to Dr. DeSilva. “Hadid was the clear winner when all the elements of the face were measured for physical perfection,” he noted. “She had the highest overall reading for her chin which, with a score of 99.7 per cent, is only 0.3 per cent away from being the prefect shape.”

(Two construction workers are sitting on the curbside eating lunch. A beautiful, fully proportioned woman walks buy. Says one worker to the other, “Wow! Get a load of dat chin!”)

I have yet to read of any reaction that Ms. Hadid might have regarding her superior beauty. I do know that she is one of the world’s top fashion models and probably makes so much money she could care less what Dr. DeSilva thinks.

Fans of Beyoncé, runner-up on the most-beautiful scale, have expressed their dismay, however.

“Whoever decided to compare #BellaHadid to #Beyoncé,” one person Tweeted, “should have kept that opinion to themselves! There is no world where Bella looks better than Beyoncé. None! Not even on Opposite Day.”

Wikipedia reports that Ms. Hadid and Canadian singer The Weeknd have been in an on-again, off-again relationship since 2015. The latest update has them together again.

Assuming their relationship is of an intimate nature, I can imagine them waking up in some luxurious hotel suite together. Bella is exhausted from her gruelling career as a fashion model. All those runways, all those quick changes … all that salad!

Let’s say she has circles under her eyes. Maybe a few pimples have broken out and she is sporting a disastrous case of bed-head.

I can further imagine Mr. Weeknd giving her a quick glance and, without thinking, sarcastically blurting out “Well well well … and how is the world’s most beautiful woman feeling this morning?”

I wonder what kind of left hook the most beautiful woman in the world possesses.